My cousin Lori inspired today's post on the Brocks of the world. Having first hand knowledge of what it's like to be a Brock, let me lead you into the world of Brocks and teach you a thing or two about our people.
First, what is a Brock? The English Dictionary describes Brock as a noun, meaning a European Badger. Now being a Gophers fan, I suppose a Badger is not the first moniker I'd like to receive, however, a European Badger is often thought of in higher esteem then its brothers in Wisconsin. I personally like to think that my Badger brethren is more like Mr. Badger from The Wind in The Willows, who is seen as a good friend to Mole & Ratty, and is a good leader and gentleman, embodying common sense. He is also brave and a skilled fighter, and helps clear the Wild Wooders from Toad Hall.
Brock may not be in the top 100 Baby names, but has steadily increased every year, much to our chagrin. You see we Brocks are not conformers and would prefer our name to be sacred and instead of chosen, be chosen. The High Council of Brocks dates all the way back to 1982, when supposedly the first child bared the name that was previously only granted surname status. A Banker and a Nurse were given the high honor after passing a series of tests and naming their first 2 children after books of the bible, as to not bring attention to the family as a whole. The family was forced to move every time a new Brock entered the community so as to maintain uniqueness and not support uniformity.
Figures from the Council of Brocks suggest there are currently anywhere from 40 to 80 Brock's living in the world, blending in among people, eating, living, and in some cases even working among everyday citizens. The Endangered Species Association (ESA) has for years been trying to get Brock on the list, but the Council refuses, stating that "We are not endangered, just dangerously inclusive." Of the 10 most notable people named Brock on Wikipedia, 4 are dead. A 40% notable people mortality rate, figures that would only be remarkable among deep south literacy rates.
The most notable Brock, is also the largest documented Brock in history, I'm talking about wrestling superstar Brock Lesnar, who just so happens to reside in my hometown. Coincidence? I think not. Although separate and often considered dangerous in the same presence, 2 Brock's can be found in similar habitats if the right conditions exist, although like the Yetti or its North American cousin, the Sasquatch, a photograph confirming this has yet to exist.
There are 2 tiny villages in the US that use the name Brock to describe the residency of their citizens, one in Nebraska, and one in Texas. These towns pay the Council of Brocks an exclusive naming fee and must abide by the rules that if their residency spikes above 200, the name must be changed to protect the seclusion of the name.
There has been international controversy over the usage of the name between the United States Council and the Canadian Council. The Canadians have for years been leasing their name to schools, businesses, and even islands. The Canadians went all the way to congress and passed the Brock University Act of 1964, aiming to increase its influence on the Canadian way of life. This created the University that offers undergraduate, graduate and doctoral degree programs that include co-op and other experiential learning opportunities to an enrollment of over 17,000 full-time students. Or at least that's the cover. There have been many conspiracy theorists over the years that have stated the Canadian Council of Brocks is actually a political and even mason-like association of top French Canadian citizens, of whom actually run the country. The Council of Brocks acts as a peace-keeping front from which the inner layers of the onion run deep and every peel tearfully opens up an inner society hell bent on Canadian domination.
But I digress, for this article is meant to shine light, not grant fuel for controversy. The Brock name has a rich history, but is often misheard, literally. A recent survey of Brock's showed that the name is often mistaken for others when introductions occur. The most common of which are: Bob, Rob, Brad, and Bert. Which is forgivable, I suppose, but these were also listed in the survey, causing mild confusion: Bork, Bock, Block, and Borg. Excuse me, I'm from Planet Earth, have we met?
In any case, the name Brock has created some influential and colorful people as well as described places and cultural groups (disputed). If you so happen to run into someone with the name, consider yourself lucky, because you are in some elite company. While all of the above is opinion and heavily biased, you should still regard mostly everything in this post as factual evidence.
No Canadians were harmed during the writing of this post.
Until next time, remember to chew with your mouth closed.
brock aka bsv,
the courtesy wave
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