Misery Rankings - April edition with a Glass of Hope/Despair

Holy smokes were halfway through April and yet there's still snow on the ground and in the forecast. I skipped March's misery rankings because, well, I needed a break from writing about the sad state of sports in this area. But keeping with tradition, I'll ramp them up again this mont. The last two months, like this winter, have been exceptionally miserable. Last year at this time witnessed our first ever March without any snow, the opening of Target Field and an NCAA tournament berth from the Golden Gophers. This year, the winter has dragged on to a comically insane beat. According to Paul Douglas, this is already our 4th snowiest winter to date, and with flakes still in the forecast and always the chance for the white stuff until May, it'll go down as one of the harshest ever.

Longing for some normalcy, March and April have been especially unpredictable and hardly kind. Although it is tough to live with 6 month winters, we will take that over any hurricane, earthquake or tsunami of which have ravaged parts of the world with unbelievable losses and heartbreaking stories. It is easy to forget that we still have it pretty good.

On the sports side, the winter teams did not do much to help us get through to spring. In fact, they probably contributed to an extra exodus of Minnesotans this winter, permanent and non. Collapses and disappointments are abound and with so much negativity, I'm going to try to find the bright spots amid a sea of despair, because why live life with a glass half empty?

First off it should be noted that the land of 10,000 lakes had something to celebrate recently, as the University of Minnesota-Duluth Bulldogs won their first ever National Championship as Division 1 Hockey champs. About half of the alumni from UMD live in the Twin Cities and neighboring communities, so it was definitely a bright spot in a sea of gray among the other teams.

TWINS
Records: 5-10, 5th in AL Central
Rankings: 21st ESPN
Glass Half Empty: Here we go. No team had more pressure going into the season to save its fan base from insanity than the Twins. The optimism regarding this team was overflowing if not for anything but we as fans were dying to see a competitive team. Well 2 weeks in and we've yet to see that. Here's a short list of what's gone wrong. New Japanese all-star import, Tsuyoshi Nishioka breaks his leg in the first week. Joe Mauer has already landed on the DL. Joe Nathan has 2 blown saves and just lost the closer job to Matt Capps, who also has a blown save. Twins are last in the Majors in runs (41), home runs (4), and RBI (38). While the pitching and fielding have been average at best.
Glass Half Full: It's April. The baseball regular season is 6 months long and we're not even 1/10 of the way done. Despite the team's struggles, a few players are coming around. Denard Span is 10th in the AL in hitting at .339, a welcome sight after last year. Kubel is 16th at .320 and leads the team with 2 home runs (hey gotta be positive here). Carl Pavano is holding down the fort in the rotation. He's 1-1, but easily could be 3-0 because of the lack in run of support. Pavano has 3 quality starts, 11 K's, a 3.60 ERA, and an impressive 0.95 WHIP. He's definitely been worth the money.

GOPHERS FOOTBALL
Records: 3-9, (2-6) 10th in the Big Ten
Rankings: 85th in Sagarin Ratings
Glass Half Empty: New coach + difficult schedule including USC, Michigan, Nebraska, Michigan State, and Wisconsin = slim chance at more than 3 or 4 wins.
Glass Half Full: Because of what happened this winter to the Hockey and Basketball teams, believe it or not, Gophers football is on top of the U revenue sports. Spring practice is under way and there is a ton of optimism regarding the new coach and new quarterback Marquis Gray. And the best news of all, they can't lose until September!

GOPHERS BASKETBALL
Record: 17-14, (6-12) 10th in Big Ten
Rankings: 85th RPI
Half Empty: Lost 10 of last 11 games in one of the most epic collapses in Big Ten history. Team losing entire starting lineup Al Nolen and leading scorer Blake Hoffarber to graduation. Trevor Mbakwe and Ralph Sampson III to NBA draft (likely), and Colton Iverson to transfer.
Half Full: Starting over might be the best thing for this team. Getting some fresh faces with a clean slate, records, and attitudes might be what the Gophers need.

GOPHERS HOCKEY
Records: 16-14-6, (13-10-5) 5th in WCHA
Rankings: 23rd USCHO.com Poll (March 21st)
Glass Half Empty: The team ended one of its worst seasons in recent history with consecutive losses to perennial WCHA doormats Alaska-Anchorage. The Gophers misses the Final Five at the WCHA in consecutive years for the first time in 11 years since the WCHA expansion era.
Glass Half Full: This team may not have been great, but they at least were smart. 12 players on the roster earned Academic all-WCHA for having a GPA of at least 3.0, not too shabby.

VIKINGS
Records: 6-10, Last NFC North
Rankings: 12th Draft Pick
Glass Half Empty: A superbowl pre-season pick turned into a nightmare of a season. The team doesn't have a quarterback, proven at least and you can't win in the NFL without that. Off the field, efforts for a new stadium are being shot down left and right. If the team can't turn it around on the field, they'll have an even tougher time pushing for a new stadium with public financing. You think the Twins would have gotten Target Field if they played like they did in the mid 90's? Their 2000's resurgance was a big reason why their still in Minnesota. Can the Vikings play the same card and rally behind the purple to stay in the frozen north?
Glass Half Full: Good bye and good riddance the Brett Favre experiment is over. It worked for one season and should have ended there. Not only did his age catch up with him, but his off-field behavior too. The Vikings have a long history of off-field problems and last year was just no different. A new head coach, Leslie Frazier will be a big boost for the team. For one, he has the support of his players, which Childress hardly had, for another he's a super bowl champion player and brings that player mentality with him. Whatever the QB situation, be it McNabb, Newton, Locker, Dalton, or Joe Webb, the team can still rely on their young guns AP, Harvin, and Sid Rice to keep this team electrifying.

WILD
Records: 39-35-8, 12th in Western Conference
Rankings: 23rd ESPN
Glass Half Empty: Finished the season 4-10-1 after flirting with the 8th spot in the West. Gave up 4 or more goals in 8 of those games including an 8-1 drubbing at home vs. Montreal.
Glass Half Full: 1 win better than last year. Kicked Dallas out of the playoffs with gutsy win in last game. Todd Richards fired as head coach.

TIMBERWOLVES
Records: 17-65, Worst Record in NBA
Rankings: does it matter? 30th if you're counting.
Glass Half Empty: The Wolves lost its last 15 games to finish behind Cleveland for the worst record overall. The one bright spot on the season, Kevin Love didn't play in the season's last 5 games and on the season the team surrended a league worst 108 points per game. David Kahn and Kurt Rambis should be re-doing their resumes as neither should warrant another contract. Also, the Timberwolves now have the longest playoff drought in the NBA at 6 years.
Glass Half Full: With the worst record, comes the best chance for the #1 overrall draft pick. I'll keep this positive and it right now.

Well that's it for now. I'll try to keep pace with some other interesting and possibly uplifting stories. Until next time, remember to exercise for 30 mins a day.

Brock
TCW